As I look back over the year of my greatest transformation, the key to my success in overcoming the paralyzing effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was my deepest desire to heal myself from the pain I was in.  For many years, I had lived a life of quiet desperation, too many failures and mistakes in my life had convinced me I was not worthy of the good things in life, too many unforgivable acts done on my part had placed me in the unenviable position of watching all those around me finding their dreams coming true, while I had to serve out the punishment for committing violations against myself and others.  I was my own critic, judge, and executioner.